dear Sofie

It's 2.30am and I am wide awake. In the last hour I have checked on you 4 times. For the record, you are sleeping peacefully in your crib.

This past month has been a strange one, you stopped sleeping through the night and have woken up crying almost every night. This is very unusual for you. The exceptions to this have been hotel stays: 2 nights in Saint John, NB and 2 nights in PEI where you slept like a champion? Maybe you're like your parents and love staying in hotels. Anyway, the nights haven't gotten any easier and for the past week you've been sleeping in our bed with us. I don't mind this at all, we both get good nights sleep. And I love snuggling with you and waking up to your huge blue eyes staring at me. But I've been worried about never being able to get you back into your crib ever.

Up until now I've just put you to sleep with nothing in the crib. I've been terrified of you suffocating on a blanket or bumper pad or your pajamas, or anything really. But you look so lonely in that big crib. And did I mention you haven't been sleeping and I'm officially exhausted? So tonight I put you to sleep with a warm blanket that your nana made for you (I know it's almost August and all of this defies logic, the blanket probably would have been helpful in March, but you were sleeping then). And like magic, you are peacefully asleep. This is the first night in a month that you haven't already woken up twice and it didn't take me 5 attempts to initially get you to sleep. You love that blanket. Each time I go in to check on you, you are snuggled up with that thing. But you are freaking me out because it's so close to your face that I have to gently pull it back so that I can see your nose.

God I'm tired. Sleep tight with your magic blanket Sofie. Since I'm awake I think I'll have a snack....

dear sofie

I want to record your milestones. That's one of the reasons why I write you these posts. Someday I will re-format them, print them off, and put them in your baby book. Speaking of, your baby book arrived in the mail last week and it is beautiful! Unfortunately, it made me feel like a bit of a delinquent parent because I haven't recorded a number of things: your first smile - I know it happened almost immediately, but your first 'true' smile? I'm not sure. Somewhere between your 2nd and 3rd month, is that good enough? I hope so.

Which brings us to last night. I'm pretty sure your dad and I experienced your first temper tantrum. You were wild last night. Around 6.45pm I started our regular evening routine. Bath followed by nursing in the rocking chair. At 8pm you were asleep in my arms and I walked you into your room. I rocked you for 5 minutes. From there, I have no idea what happened, but you woke up and didn't stop screaming until you passed out at 11.15pm. You have never done anything like that before. I tried every single thing in my arsenal of tactics and there was no stopping you. I've never had you scream that much and not be able to calm you down. You were kicking your legs and banging your fists like a 2 year old. I honestly didn't know babies could do that. And you pulled out some new cries too. From the sound and intensity of them, you.were.pissed.

So what the hell happened Sofie? Were you over-tired? Teething? Too hot? followed by too cold? Hungry? Not hungry? All of the above?

All I know is that I'm exhausted today and hoping to god that never happens again. Do you hear me? That shits not cool little one.

Love,
Mama.

dear sofie

One day I will read you all of these books. And when you're older the three of us will most definitely take a trip to Paris. It is one of your dads and my favourite places in the world. And exploring the city with you sounds absolutely magical. Plus, you'll need to practice your french miss Sofie Eloise.

Love, Mama.

how to draw a penguin

I stumbled upon Oliver Jefferes a few years ago while book shopping in Chapters. 'Lost and Found' quickly became one of my all-time favourite children's books. Since then, we have been building our Jefferes library for Sofie. We now have these lovely jems as well ::

His books are funny and heart-warming and great fun to read to kids. Here is a fun bit he did on how to draw a penguin.

5 months.

It is July and you are 5 months old. We are in full swing summer. I can hardly believe it.


Things I know about you so far ::
+ your favourite songs are Skinamarink & Eensy Weensy Spider
+ you love walks, you love looking up at trees
+ you are quiet & and contemplative first thing in the morning
+ you have a great sense of humor
+ you smile with your whole face
+ you do not like to be put up high in the air
+ you can roll over, although usually you get stuck on your belly and cry. This morning you did a full roll in your crib
+ you can sit up with me supporting you. You love to grab for things from this position
+ your hair is growing! it looks white blonde and light red
+ you make noises constantly - babbling, squealing, screeching, laughing, you have a lot to say

happy, happy 5 months with you Sofie-girl.

I love this post about childhood.