reality.

The bank called me today.  Just to check in on me... you know, to make sure I hadn't maxed out my credit card and then died or something. They were concerned over lack of payments... I agreed. That is concerning. Also concerning that I had to ask M. to hide my credit card somewhere in the apartment, as that seems to be the only way that I can be trusted. There's a hard truth to face. And yet... all I can think about are these lovelies....

http://www.etsy.com/shop/AdrianCompanyVintage

http://www.etsy.com/listing/64575567/vintage-brown-leather-granny-booties

[this one is completely unfair because they are my size and thirty-eight dollars! thirty eight dollars!]

http://www.etsy.com/shop/sohomode

uggghhh... Etsy's the worst.  I have a budget for the New Year though. That's something to get excited about.

Sidenote: I made the hottest curry of my life tonight. Yowza. It was good.

christmastime.

Highlights of Christmas include ::

+ tambourine !

+ new hat

+ eating out 4 days in a row [!]

+ narrowing down my list of most favourite foods

+ new neighbourhoods

+ lots of laughter

It wasn't exactly a conventional Christmas.  But I liked it.

How was yours?

xo. Jill.

We have 9 children today at daycare. This is what our morning looks like::  It was noticed that there weren't any presents under the tree.  So one was made.  And then everyone needed to be tucked in to bed for Santa tonight. Now it's the Grinch and popcorn.  Not a bad Christmas Eve if you have to be at work and not at home. Happy Christmas Eve.

list four :: year-ending....

This is a different kind of list.  A list about the things that really snuck up on me, that I didn't see coming. Thirty-two was a big year for me. With all of my planning and pretending to know, sometimes [most of the time] it's the things that you don't see coming that are the best.  The ones that slip in the back door when you're not paying attention and wait patiently to be noticed. Or hit you right in the face. This was a big year for me. I struggled with who I am, what that means. I fought stubbornly for my independence. I legally committed myself to another human being, letting the world know that we are a family. For so many reasons in my head, it was a big year.  And I really didn't expect it to be.

1. There was a wedding.  And I was the bride.

2. Left a job I love.

3. Took a grown-up job. Playdough, nature walks, boogers, and circle time are no longer part of my everyday [only some of my days..]

3. Watched a dear friend go through pregnancy....

4. Learned very quickly that marriage is not exactly what I thought it was. Not necessarily a bad thing . Just different.

5.Went swimming in a lake at midnight. when it was 30 degrees outside. and felt completely happy.

6. re- learned hard lessons.

7. saw my parents build their retirement home.

8. remembered that it's so much better to stay positive and send love into the world.  was saddened that I seemed to have forgotten that for a period of time and fell in to the muck and got stuck for a little bit.  was reminded that I need reminders. and to be patient. and understanding.

9. had a meaningful conservation with a man in the city that I've always felt a connection to but have never actually spoken to, only to occasionally give him money when he asks. We spoke over coffees on a cold day on Spring Garden Rd. It was really wonderful.

10. was reminded that friends are great. was reminded that there a few people who really get me.

11. re-connected with an old friend who I thought was gone for good.... she had been looking for me too.

12. learned to accept nova scotia drivers. terrifying. and it took me 9 years.

13. remembered about self-reflecting.  was humbled into remembering that sometimes I'm not as awesome or all-knowing as I think I am. not even close.

14. added another woman to my list of the strongest and most inspiring women I've ever met.  I love that the list keeps growing and it happens when I least expect it.

15. traveled to Toronto for Christmas and stayed at the Royal York. had an amazing time.

16. spent an afternoon laying on the beach with my mom and my aunt.  listened to them talk and felt like I was a kid again on summer vacation in Shediac.  and it felt good.

17. saw my grandfather for the last time. had our family gather together to remember him. all of us.

18. had completely honest and open conversations about motherhood with really interesting and insightful women.

19. watched a lot of things completely fall apart for people I love. watched them build it up again, one step at a time. felt inspired.

20. met people in my field who share my feelings about early childhood education. felt inspired and excited. want to be around these people as much as possible and soak up everything they know.

21. saw Gord Downie play live. couldn't wait to leave. felt disappointed.

22. eat, pray, love with leanne.

23.  stopped giving a shit about a lot of stuff.

24. old friends. new friends.

25. bought a couch and a coffee table.

26. danced a lot.

27. have long hair again.

28. have people refer to me as their 'boss'. yikes. that's weird.

29. left europe. miss europe.

30. learned how to bake a pie.

31. moved 3 times.

32. learned to accept and embrace change. It's okay.

33.  didn't change my name. and never will.

Merry Christmas everybody. See you in 2011. Wishing you all peace, love and happiness.  So much of it. For everyone.

winter

A Winter's Manifesto ::

1. Make stuff.

2. Wool. Flannel. Layer them. Love them.

3. Gather with friends. Often. Do this for fun, for sanity, and connection. It is important. Laugh. Warm your spirits.

4. Make and drink hot chocolate often. Often.

5. Hibernate somedays. But not all days. Go for a walk in the snow. Go tobogganing. Or skating.

6. Be grateful for the snow. For the cold days. For the change of seasons. Marvel at the beauty. Be in the moment and enjoy it.

 

These are not my words, but words I'd like to live by, especially over the winter months.  So I'm sharing her words with you, and you can read more of them here. Happy Solstice!

hey jude.

If someone in your life loves the Beatles, you should probably buy them this print.  Isn't it great? I personally don't love the Beatles.  I like them okay.  Even though I woke up this morning with "Eight Days a Week" in my head and then stumbled upon this gem while surfing.  Funny.  Also funny that Yoko made it in.  Can you spot her? Like Waldo?? Isn't it Beatle mania all over again since they started selling on iTunes? Just in time for the holidays.... so convenient.

list three :: two thousand and eleven

It's almost year-ending time. I don't have much to talk about these days, but I do need a list. So here is one for the upcoming year. Goals. Ideas. Things to think about and do.

the 2011 list ::

1. Yoga. Everyday. Like always, I need reminders

2. Connect with people more often. Especially over the winter months when things get all dark and dreary and cold and it's way too easy to get sad and a little bit lonely.

3. House-warming! With real invitations, yummy things to munch on, winter drinks to sip on and great friends to laugh with

4. Go see a movie in a movie theatre and eat lots of popcorn. A good movie.  When are the good movies coming?

5. Take more pictures

6. Budget. yuck.

7. Try to eat one raw food meal a week [for diner]. If successful, increase to two

8. Make the first step towards opening my own business. Even though it's really scary.  Just do it. And then don't look back.

9. Spend less. Give more.

10. Go dancing. Wear my favourite shoes that I've never even worn yet.

11. Try to be better at the things that I suck at.

12. Get caught up on : Glee, 30 Rock, Modern Family & The Office. For reals. We have cable now, no excuse.

13.  Create the quintessential Bowie mix.

14. Write notes to people. Mail them when I think they may need them. Or when I need them.

15. Have dinner at Fid.

16. Buy something at Project Nine.. ha! yeah right.

17. Blow bubbles off the MacKay bridge. Or the MacDonald. Whatever one you can walk over.

18. Road trip. To anywhere outside the Maritimes.

19. Listen more. Stop interrupting people.

20. Write something about childhood & play.

21. Habitat for Humanity with my bestest.  Okay.. that one likely will not happen in 2011.  But it's going on the life list.

22. Visit the Titanic cemetary in the city.

23. Ghost tour of the city!

24. Read Jonathan Franzen's new book and try not to be too judgemental about what a wank he is. Because his writing is that good. He's just kind of a wank.

25. Don't take things too seriously.

26. Snowball fight.

on Sunday....

I'd like to be cozy in some of these ....






I'm making some of these  ....

My most fave Christmas cookies.  For some reason they are only to be eaten at Christmas time.  At least around these parts.

Also these.  I make them every year for my bro.  Easy & Delicious.

And listening to...

I'm not really a Coldplay fan.  But this song is nice and the video is great.

 

What are you up to today?

i've got the spirit.

Everything is ready to go for Christmas in Toronto! Trans Siberian Orchestra has become some of our fave family Christmas music since my brother and I grew up and started to pretend to be adults.  I'm so pumped to see my bro and have fun in the city.  Last Christmas there was so great, we've started a new tradition of going out for Indian food on Christmas Eve! Our flight arrives at 3pm on Christmas Eve so keep your fingers crossed for no foul weather or hold ups... I'll be ready for some serious eating, vegetarian style.

Also on the agenda::

+ staying here. for reals [we got a crazy good deal, naturally. AND it's directly next door to my bro]

+ drinking here [around the corner, naturally]

+ boxing day movie?

list two :: things to do this fall

I found a list.  Apparently I had a plan for the fall.  The good thing ... I've completed none of these, which means they will become a list for the winter.  Expect the bike. Too cold now.

A list that has nothing to do with Christmas.  Or work. I like that.

1.  make a quilt

2.  take more pictures of halifax

3.  business plan

4.  fix bike. ride bike.

5.  clogs

6.  make banana bread

7.  make more banana bread

8.  knit a hat

9.  wear the hat

10. be patient

11. drive to Peggy's Cove or Lunenburg or the Valley

childhood.

This song, and another one by Radical Face called 'Missing Teeth' are such beautiful songs about childhood, I think.  I can't find a link for Missing Teeth, but if you purchase the fantastically awesome 'Do Fun Stuff' album [find a handy link in my sidebar] on iTunes you can take a listen for yourself.  It's a great album and a really great song.

For me, they make me all weepy and nostalgic for childhood.  Innocent & complicated, happy & sad, hopeful & inspired ... uhhhhh.. so beautiful.  Just makes me feel good on my insides. Spending the weekend with adorable 2 year old nephew only makes it better.  I hope you enjoy them.

 

'the road to dysfunction is paved with good intentions'....

Read more about that and other great links about parenting, mothering, breastfeeding, women & frenzies in general here .... worth checking out.  I feel we really need to collectively move away from judging each other, from judging parents. When did we get so judgemental? So high and mighty? So god damn smarmy about everything?? I blame Oprah. Last time I checked, almost everyone was/is convinced in some way or another that they've completely effed up their children, and with the best and most honest and pure intentions. Unintentionally. They didn't know.  We don't know... no one knows for sure.  We just do our best and try to learn something along the way.  Self-reflect. Anyway, I could go on... but instead, I'll collect myself and take inspiration from this picture ::

see a few more right here

 

p.s. Is anyone else listening to Charlie Brown's Christmas on repeat yet?? I like to ease myself into the season with that one. God I love it.

first days. again.

Love these cards. Today was my first day in my new position.  I have to be more discrete in my blogging about where I work and what I do.. confidentiality and all.  Probably not a great idea to blog about it.  So that will change around here.  But today was good... different, but good. The transition out of the classroom was much harder than I anticipated. Seeing all those little faces today and them not understanding why I was in the building, but not in the classroom with them.... bleck.  Yuck.  But I think it will be a great learning experience.  And everybody loves learning, right??

Blogging may be sporadic for a few weeks, but don't give up on me.. I'll still be around.  My brain just feels a bit mushy.

Here's some reading for you on early care and education from the Chronicle Herald today.

necessary.

ban.do

the mrs. shoppe

bcbg

 

granted.

Also, I think I may become completely obsessed with Prince William & Kate. Don't you think so?

ch-ch-changes

Woah.  Sometimes when you ask for something... it comes. So be prepared.  I feel like life is moving really quickly right now, so I'm trying to stop and take it all in as much as possible.

I've been feeling really unsettled lately, trying to figure out what my 'next' step is.  I've been putting all of my extra time, love, energy and work into a business plan for my own child care centre.  It's really exciting for me and also really terrifying... owning my own business, developing a business model, figuring out how to translate my ideas for something dynamic and innovative and inspiring in the city, which currently doesn't exist [in child care, that is].  How do you do that? One step at a time I guess.  And then life steps in.  And the whole being 32 thing... yikes. Where did this pressure come from? It's really tricky to keep things in perspective and not get caught up in this prevailing idea that I have to figure it all out today....  I hope collectively our ideas towards living and being are changing, becoming more modern, more realistic, more supportive, more... human.  Because life doesn't work that way anymore.  We're not graduating, getting jobs, getting married, keeping that job, buying homes, keeping that job, having babies, and eventually retiring from that one job.  That's not life anymore. And that is un-settling. I feel like our ideas towards ourselves and what that means for us over the course of our lives, as well as our daily lives needs to catch up to it.  We're all okay.  The world is infinitely messed up, but I think we're okay. Don't you?

So where am I going with this... I got a promotion at work.  As of Monday I will be the new Assistant Director at my centre.  Management! gah! This fabulous opportunity is literally being handed to me. To me! And all I can think of is what a valuable experience this will be for me professionally, the type of experience so necessary as to eventually run a successful business.  Of course, I'm completely terrified. I've never managed adults.  Not real, grown up humans.  Just the wee ones.. that's my experience. But I kind of feel that if I approach it the way that I deal with kids, with mutual respect, honouring integrity, active listening and careful observation, that maybe it will be okay.  And that they won't hate me.  I hope they don't hate me.  So while I'm mostly feeling really excited and challenged in a way that I haven't felt since I decided to go to grad school.. I'm also completely terrified inside. But don't tell anyone at work, okay?

Thanks universe.

I can't find a better clip of George Michael being promoted to Mr. Manager, but this one will do.

"Right, it's up to me now. I'm Mr. Manager.

Manager. We just say...

I know, but you...

Doesn't matter who...."

Brilliant.

bruxelles.

Oh man. If I was in Brussels, I would be going to this. An upcoming TED talk, taking place in Brussels this December, called 'Who's going to save the world?' Uplifting topic for what's commonly known as a bleak and somewhat boring city [I only partly agree with that sentiment]. Read about things, both good and bad,  here and here if you'd like.

Highlights of this talk [for me], include :: nerd or artist? teacher or scientist? I will definitely be watching this talk online.

I miss Brussels sometimes. I forget that we lived there. If we were still there I would be heading to Cafe Modele on Rue Antoine Dansaertstraat for food + drinks beforehand.  Fun night.

peace.

Songs for the People

Let me make the songs for the people,
Songs for the old and young;
Songs to stir like a battle-cry
Wherever they are sung.

Not for the clashing of sabres,
For carnage nor for strife;
But songs to thrill the hearts of men
With more abundant life.

Let me make the songs for the weary,
Amid life's fever and fret,
Till hearts shall relax their tension,
And careworn brows forget.

Let me sing for little children,
Before their footsteps stray,
Sweet anthems of love and duty,
To float o'er life's highway.

I would sing for the poor and aged,
When shadows dim their sight;
Of the bright and restful mansions,
Where there shall be no night.

Our world, so worn and weary,
Needs music, pure and strong,
To hush the jangle and discords
Of sorrow, pain, and wrong.

Music to soothe all its sorrow,
Till war and crime shall cease;
And the hearts of men grown tender
Girdle the world with peace.

~ Frances Ellen Watkins Harper [1895]

Hey Brother.

It's my little bro's b-day today.  Happy Birthday Matt! Even though he's 28, I still feel like he's somewhere around 8. Or 10. I so wish we lived in the same city, I'm trying to convince him to move to Hali.  Thanks to my brother for many things, but most notably, for:

- reminding me often that I'm actually not that funny

- increasing my tolerance and eventual acceptance for how awesome the Simpsons are. AND, introducing me to Arrested Development. It changed my life.

- making me laugh so much, so often

THEN. 1983? St. John's, Newfoundland. I love this picture.

NOW. 2008. Two Christmases ago in Amsterdam at one of my fave restaurants.  Best Christmas ever.

Love you brother.  Happy Birthday.  Wish I was there to celebrate with you and make you dinner.

it's beginning to look a lot like....

I'm pretty sure I HAVE to make these!! I"ve been walking around the past few days, seeing signs of Christmas and thinking... really? Isn't it too early? Not feeling Christmas yet.  But these little lovelies change everything!! It says even beginners can handle it... I'm definitely far below a beginner, but I'm willing to try.  I never did finish my infamous hat for nephew (2 years later... whoops), but I did manage to finally decipher the pattern. All by myself.  So that was something. Find the pattern right here. The Purl Bee is def on my list of places to visit when I finally make it to New York. If you are a knitter, check out their blog and online store = LOVE.

Oh! Also... I found some great resources for yoga with kids! One is called Yoga Ed. The other is called Yoga Pretzels (fun!) and was recommended by my mom's yoga teacher.  Really excited to get into some yoga with the kids using these resources.

Happy Monday!

list one:: music

I am a list-maker.  I love making them, I can't function without them.  I've decided that periodically, they will appear on the blog, and the reason is two-fold.  One.. to feed my addiction. Two.. sometimes I lose my words, or run out of things to talk about, or just lack inspiration. Ruts are inevitable. And there's always a list to be made.  So I thought, what better way to start than with music?? Here we go, currently playing on my mixed tape for the car ....

1. david bowie, ashes to ashes

2. brooke fraser, something in the water

3. broken bells, the high road

4. the cure, close to me

5. hey rosetta, there's an arc

6. the acorn, restoration

7. radical face, welcome home

8. nina simone, my baby just cares for me

9. the band, the shape i'm in

10. arcade fire, sprawl II

 

namaste.

Today was challenging and lots of fun.

Yesterday, one of the kids saw me stretching after nap time and asked me what I was doing [of course]. I told her about my sore hip [FYI:  sciatica is NOT something that only old ladies get. I did not know this. And it sucks] and that I need to move my body to make it feel better and that something that I like to do is yoga.  So I did the tree pose for her.  She loved it and I quickly realized that I had an entire captive audience. Magic. So my co-teacher and I decided that a half hour of yoga would be something fun to try with the kids.  I've never done yoga with children before but have always wanted to.  Today we did the tree, the half moon, the cat, the cow, the eagle... it was beyond fantastic.  I love it.  I felt like I was learning from them... I was so far outside of my comfort zone, I felt like a new teacher again.  Good stuff. Yoga + kids = fun. So now I'm looking for resources on teaching yoga to kids... but everything I've found online so far is super creepy.  Maybe I don't need any resources, maybe I'm smart enough to do it on my own. Probably.  But just in case, does anyone have any ideas of where to look? Something that doesn't involve a creepy old lady, or adults on crack that you want to punch in the face?

Also, someone drew me a ghost today.  'Jillian, I draw a ghost for you. His name is Fred and he says 'ooooooooo'.

overheard...

Classroom conversations  ::

J. "I don't have any pets.

Me. oh really? Do you want pets?

J. No, I don't have a dog. I don't have a cat..... I don't even have a bunny rabbit. No pets. But.... [long pause], I think I have a grasshopper.  I saw one once in my yard".

Love that. Also ::

Me. [child's name] I love your ponytail on the top of your head today.

K. No, no, no. It's not a ponytail.

Me. Oh... it looks like a ponytail.

K. It's my blowhole.

Me. Oh, of course... what are you?

K. I'm a DOLPHIN! of course!

then proceeds to swim away....

Good stuff on a Tuesday.

TED talks...

'A three year old is not half a six year old. They're three'.

'Creativity is as important as literacy'.

My favourite TED talk... take a listen.

 

horoscopes are my fave....

I really want to be a Frankenstein beauty queen! Love it.  Halloween is my most favourite time of year... is it yours too?? I kind of dropped the ball this year, I didn't realize it was this weekend.. this new job has consumed me, all of a sudden October is over. Yikes. I think instead I'll stay in, drink a bottle of champagne and watch Beetlejuice. Keeping eyes open for ugly treasures in November. Love that idea.

[p.s. jesus, sorry it's so offensively big. can't seem to fix that]

deep thoughts...

I walked back into the classroom today after lunch... a three year old came over and put this picture in my hand. 'Here', he said. 'This is your brain'. 

inspiration.

I have a few things to share....

+ we had a dance party this afternoon at daycare.  It was wicked. When it's a childs birthday at daycare the teachers ask them what they would like to do to celebrate their birthday.  Not what they want... but what they want to do.  Love that. So today, I worked the early shift, which meant I got to decorate M's locker with balloons [she turned 4, she's Japanese, so insert the most adorable Japanese name you can think of here], I made her a sign for the front door [both her requests], we made a cake during small group time, and this afternoon we had a dance party.  It totally ruled. I wish I could post the pictures, but I think you can probably imagine it.

+ also, I've been meaning to share this for weeks but keep forgetting. At any other centre I've worked at, when it's time to tidy up the teachers start singing the god awful tidy up song... something resembling 'clean up, clean up, every-body, every-where, clean up, clean up, every-body, every-where'.  It's affective but also awful.  My first day at the new place I watched in awe and fascination as one of the teachers put on this::

All 21 children immediately stopped what they were doing, dropped whatever toy they were playing with and ran to the carpet area.  They all sat down, closed their eyes, and began to pretend to play the piano along with the music.  For the entire duration of the song. And it gets so good at the end and they get so so into it.  It is so amazing to watch.  They're encouraged to close their eyes and feel the music.  It slows everyone down, gets everyone on the same page, allows for a nice relaxing break, and then everyone has re-grouped before clean up time.  I love love love love it.  Today was my first time to 'lead' the experience.. I hit play and watched them all descend on the carpet and start to play their imaginary pianos.  And I was reminded why I do what I do.  Because it's freakin awesome. I'd love for all of you to come to our classroom and take a look for yourselves.  It's completely inspiring.

blargh.

I love Toronto, it's always been one of my favourite cities. People love to bash Toronto, and I'm not really sure why.  I always ask those who have negative things to say... have you been there? Have you actually spent any time there? Usually the answer is no, which leads me to believe (like voting) if you don't do it... you don't get the right to complain about it, ya know?? Anyway... today I'm wondering, Toronto, what the hell happened? It's been many years since I've lived in the city, but I'm fortunate enough to be able to travel back every year. So maybe a lot has changed that I am unaware of, but man.... this guy for mayor? Immigration, equality, public transportation, the vitality, health and well being of the biggest city in our country??? hmmm... that's pretty freakin bleak.

I'm reading Douglas Couplands new book, Player One, right now.... reading is an understatement, devouring it actually.  And in it, he wisely implies that things are going to get much much worse before they get better.  So... let's just patiently wait with our fingers crossed for the eventual moment when we seem to climb our way out of the shit hole that we appear to be marching straight into. Let's hope for that.  Read about it here.  It's fabulous.  I love it.  In particular, number 34 speaks to me.

On another note, I'm having a really shit day at work.  All around.  I hate days like today.  So... not to be complete doom and gloom.. let's add some sunshine to our lives on this bleak Tuesday.  Here are a few gems ::

Have a nice afternoon friends.

once there was a boy....

One of my favourite things about the work that I do is having the opportunity to embrace and be surrounded by children's literature. Books, music, singing, dancing... those are my most favourite parts of the day and usually are the basis of my interactions with kids.  I love story-telling, whether it be books, stories of my own, or those that the children choose to share with me. This lovely little book here is one of my all time faves ....

Lost and Found by Oliver Jeffers

...  the story begins, "once there was a boy and one day he found a penguin at his door'. Perfect. It's so lovely and funny too.  And to my sheer joy and delight, I recently discovered that they've made it into a short film, and based on this trailer.. on my, it looks magical.

And if you're really digging all of this, check out this fun video about the author.  He's Irish! He has a great mustache! I love it!

 

balance.

My mantra lately is balance. It's funny how sometimes when you're thinking about something, or working through something... all of a sudden you see examples and inspiration all around you.  I think often what we need is sitting patiently, waiting right in front of us, or maybe just off to the side, but we're just too busy and too consumed to notice.  When we slow down and make space, then things seem to magically enter, at just the right moment. Anyway... blah blah... back to the point. I've been all over the place for quite some time now. Mentally, physically, emotionally... just feeling pretty wonky.  I know the reasons why, and of course, it's never just one reason, but a whole stewey mess of life. So I love it when things come along at just the right time to help, assist, aid, comfort or inspire in some way.  These are only videos on the web of course, nothing life changing or revolutionary.  I just think they are so entirely worth watching. Inspiring. For me, I became completely drawn in at about two minutes in on the first video. As I watched her focus, I thought, she is nowhere except right there, in that moment, on that wire, concentrating on her body, her movement, her breath and her balance. Anything else that enters in her mind in that moment will throw her off, literally. So let's just quiet our minds for a little bit and focus on that which is right in front of us, no matter what it is. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did.

Sidenote:: I will master the firefly pose in the second video, despite it's stupid name.

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/15833440]

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/15733322]

dyno-MITE

Oh man.  Today was bonkers.  Seriously off the wall crazy shit at daycare.  Wild children, pandemonium, no listening, crazy maniacs.... for a variety of different reasons, today was  not a great day.  In spite of this, I don't mind it too much because at the end of the day I get to walk away.  I get to hand all of these crazy creatures back to their parents and say goodbye, and know that tomorrow will be a different day. It may not necessarily be a better day, but it will at least be different.  So that's positive.

The highlight?? [because there is always a highlight when you're working with kids. Always, and if you don't think so, you shouldn't be working with kids. Period.]

During the chaos that was free play today I could hear someone across the classroom singing. I listened and thought... no, that can't be right.  I discretely made my way across the room to get a better listen and this is what I heard coming from a 3 year old ::

TNT. I'm dyno-MITE. yeah!

TNT. I'm dyno-MITE. yeah!

As in.... this

 

excuse me, but it was the best damn thing I've heard in a long time and I can't wait to tell these parents how freakin awesome their kid is.

eating is my favourite....

Did everyone have a nice Thanksgiving weekend? Mine was fantastic.  People kept inviting us over and feeding us delicious food...love that!  And speaking of food,  I thought I would share how fantastic my mother is.... she decided to make pumpkin gnocchi [by hand!] over the weekend and sent along this picture.  Check them out!! Superstar.  I"m heading to the grocery store tonight to pick up some pumpkin to try this recipe myself..... prolong this pumpkin eating for as long as possible, I say.

Also, check out my friend Alexis' blog here... she is a fantastic cook and wonderful baker and has offered to do a pie making tutorial with me! She made a vanilla spiced pear pie on the weekend that was so good you seriously wanted to kill yourself.  THAT good... yum.  I think there may be hope for my baking skills.  Hope.

Did I mention I'm walking to work all this week? mmhmm... necessary.

p.s. I also bought a new laptop! yay!

happy monday.

Holidays are great. I had a great weekend, did you have a great one too? I hope so. Wishing you fun fun fun.

[uhoh... click to view on youtube I guess, same thing]

so in love with dartmouth today....

Thanksgiving is definitely my most favourite time of year.  More so, even, than Christmas.  I love it.  Even though someone decided it was a great idea that I get another cold this weekend... things are still off to a great start.  Here is my horn of plenty from early am adventures  ::

Completely loving the Dartmouth Farmers Market.

I had a moment of sadness on Friday when I realized I wouldn't be having my mom's pumpkin pie this year.  Pumpkin pie + Cool Whip is Thanksgiving for me.  I'm the only one that eats Cool Whip, but I can't have pumpkin pie without it, and pumpkin pie is my favourite.  I had this momentary freak out when I realized that basically from this point forward, if I want pie or other delicious baked mom treats, that I am responsible for them.  Me.  The one who cannot bake. And really, it's been years now since we've been together on Thanksgiving, so I don't remember the last time I had her pie.  Anyway, I quickly realized, wait.  I can buy a pie.  I live in the modern world where other women bake pies.  And I can give them money for one.  So that's what I did. I bought a delicious home made pie from a lovely Ahmish, or Mennonite woman at the market, and oh my, it's yummy. And no, that doesn't erase the fact that I still miss you mom.

On the agenda for today ::

+ pear and walnut stuffing

+ brussel sprouts with butter & parmesean that taste nothing like brussel sprouts

+ vanilla baked pears

Also, I took a drive around Dartmouth/Waverly yesterday and had really great future thoughts.  It must be the trees with the colours of the leaves changing, the sun on the lakes, happy thoughts in the air, but for the first time I clearly thought, oh man, I want to live here.  This is home, and what an exciting thought for someone who's never felt home or been from anywhere [ I apologize for all of italics, it's that type of day I guess, emphasis is required].

Anyway... Happy Thanksgiving!

Jill.

maps + quilts

Loving these ....

find them here
[via Cup of Jo]

while on the subject of maps, check out this really cool book 
about one of my fave cities

i heart reggio

Day Two.  Success.  I promise I won't update you daily on my new job, but I have a few things to share because I think I kinda love it....

First: The centre is Reggio Emilia inspired.  A child care philosophy that I've been inspired, intrigued and in love with for the last few years.  My Master's thesis was Reggio-inspired, as much as I hate that term, for lack of a better one. So I'm super pumped to be in an environment that is embracing these ideas towards child development and early learning, and putting them into practice every day. Check out Reggio here, and this blog is great.

Second: I said to M. last week, or at least very recently, how funny and strange it is that I've been in the child care field for 11 years now [yikes] and I've never worked with men.  Ever.  There were never any males in any of my classes, in any of the institutions that I've attended, and we've never had any males on staff in any of the [many] centres I've worked at.  Wait.. I lie.  One year I co-taught with a wonderful man for a few months for a few hours a day.  It was short-lived, but I absolutley adored having him in the classroom.  He was responsible for the First Nations cultural component of the program I was involved in. But other than that... nothing! Trying to recruit men to the field is an ongoing issue, in a field that is traditionally deemed 'female', 'women's work', etc... and also one that pays so low.  The men folk just aren't interested.  However... that changes now! I'm currently working with not one, but two men at the new job! I'm so pumped! New ideas, new approaches, new experiences... love it.

Third: The kids are allowed and encouraged to keep their bicycles and bike helmets in their lockers at daycare.  All of their little bikes are kept in a shed out back, and a huge section is paved for riding.  So every day that it's nice [every day!] the kids get to put on their bicycle helmets, grab their water bottles, and we all go out back so they can ride around like maniacs on their bicycles.  It is outstanding.  What's more... I don't think I've ever seen 4 year olds negotiating a two wheeler so well... no training wheels! Very cool.

So.. all of these things together?? Pretty great in my book. Plus the kids are damn cute.

first days.

I have to develop a new blogging schedule.  My laptop died, I started a new full-time job, and I have NO access to interweb or computers for the WHOLE day.. yikes!

But I had my first day today at the brand new job. So that was exciting.  What was not exciting was getting my first ever flat tire on the drive into work today.  That blew. Literally.  So a brisk walk from North & Robie to the South End got me movin this morning.  I at least made it across the bridge and then abandoned the car at a service station. Things improved significantly though once I got to work.  The highlight? Playing legos with a 4 year old.  We were building spaceships and this is how the conversation went ::

J: My spaceship flies in outer space and this is the moon and this is the sun and this is the planet and this is the stars and this is the galaxy.

Me: okay.  That sounds a lot like outer space.

J: yeah. I live on earth [long pause]. Do you live on earth?

Me: yes.  Yes I do live on earth.

J: oh good.

Great first day.

woof.

Happy Week-ending.

taken from here :: http://pinterest.com/pin/535753/

it's business time.

So. Tomorrow I'm starting an intensive, three day workshop/professional development series.... Business Management Development for Early Childhood Educators. Business school! gah! What the heck, right? I'm trying to put things in place so that I can successfully open a child care centre within the next year [or two]. And since I can barely add or subtract, I figure some financial training may be a necessity.  As well as budgeting, business plans, etc. etc.  It's always been a dream to have my own place, so hopefully we'll get there! It's exciting. And scary. And then exciting again.

Is it terrible that when I think of business..... all I can think of is this?? I've been singing it all week, well the chorus anyway.

sexy things to look at

I am a visual person, therefore, I love these prints.  Coffee found here.  Sushi found here by me, but originally from here, I think. More great visual thinking here.







And then... oh man, check out this gem [flip the pages!].... fun, fun, fun. In my secret life I'd love to be a graphic designer. Speaking of work, guess what? It's Wednesday and I'm NOT working tonight! yippee!!

landslide.

holy frack man, kids are awesome. And how adorable is their music teacher?? Happy Tuesday.

Sundays are for eating.

[gallery columns="2"]

This afternoon I cooked, I baked, and I did a whole lot of eating.  I made five mini chicken pot pies [for freezing], puréed chickpea soup, and cheddar biscuits.  I love home made biscuits so much.  These were only okay. I tried a new recipe, I can't find my old stand-by. I'd love to be a great baker, but I'm just not.  Good cooker, just not baker.  Mostly they tasted like cheese, flour & butter.  Not a bad thing necessarily... but I'm pretty sure I ate 7 tonight. Seven.

fabric love.

I bought fabric today. Wonderful, fantastic, amazing fabric that makes me really really happy.  Now that I have wheels, I decided to stop into Atlantic Fabrics on my way home from the grocery store.  I haven't been in a while.  I quickly found one bolt that I loved, then realized, wait.. I love ALL of these.  What's going on? I never have such luck.  I overheard a girl behind me saying something about Amy Butler fabrics... I immediately interrupted her [I'm really terrible for doing that AND she was talking on her cell at the time... oops] and said, 'I'm sorry, did you say Amy Butler? Where are they??' She laughed and said 'you're holding all of them'.. A-ha! That explains the love affair. I didn't even know. Needless to say I bought a metre of ALL of them and have decided this will be the JILL QUILT. Because I have a love affair with colour + patterns that makes others cringe.  So this one will be mine.

Oh for cryin' out loud.  I just looked up the fabrics on her website and this new collection is appropriately called love, heart & soul.  meant. to. be.

I also bought sunflowers today.

Also, so loving this song.  On repeat constantly. It was gorgeous live. Literally could not keep my eyes off hands that were drumming. I love it. Okay. That's all for today.

5 faves on Friday ....

+ this website for ... ice cream! so gorgeous. and Kansas City?? hello.

[pretty pictures here]

+ can we talk about calendars? love, love love.

+ this print. because it's ridiculous.

+ what a fun boat!

+ antler love

Happy Weekend! What are your plans?? We're going apple picking on Sunday! Can't wait.

au revoir.

Just returned from driving momma Farris to the airport.  Goodbyes blow.  We've been living far away, all over the world for a good 10 years now... and they don't get easier. I'm glad she's going back to my dad and  her friends and her life there, just wish it wasn't so very far away.  Because really, she's a pretty cool lady.  Check out that picture! [we had a DIY photobooth at the wedding, highly recommend them!].  Anyway, three things made it better today::

1. Iced soy mocha & nutella + banana croissant for breakfast.  Yeah, that's right.  Nutella AND bananas. Bonkers good. Found at the best damn coffee shop around.

2. Hearing this guilty pleasure on the ride home from the airport.  Dancing in my seat ensued and stopped the tears. Serious guilty pleasure, like so much so that for about two weeks when our music situation was scary effed, I was seriously considering dancing down the aisle to this.  Seriously. Should I really be sharing this??? hmmmm.....that's a lot of seriouslys.

3. I get the car until she returns! Yesss. There's no input for my ipod, but the good news is that the tape deck still works.  Tape deck.

let's play.

ahhhh! I love this website, PlanToys. The play house with wind turbines!! The vegetable garden!! Canadian online retailer right here... their prices are not bonkers!

efff man... I'm excited.

autumn begins.

Right now, I am .....

seeing ::  clearly.

hearing ::  the most wonderful and inspiring and fun music I've heard in such a long time.  New music. Old music. The kind of music I love. Music like this, and this, and this. Also, you know I need no excuse for more dancing in my life.

eating ::  so much home-made pizza. more pizza than anyone should ever eat. with every vegetable you can imagine on that dough.  and cheese.

feeling ::  excited. nervous. happy.... that I need more Vitamin C in my life.

thinking ::  that I'm finally coming back to a creative period in my life again.  I've been gone for a little while.  But I'm happy to be coming back.  Life is cyclical.... like technology [ha!]

making ::  I am going to make a full size quilt.  With squares like these, these, these. And also these. And I think I'm going to love it. [all pics from Soule Mama because she's the bomb....for serious].

watching ::  I always want to watch Once in the fall.  I think it's his jacket & scarf, reminds me of fall.  Have you seen Once? If not, watch it immediately.  Seriously.

Change is in the air. Happy Equinox!

I need a leaf picture.  I can't seem to find any of my old pictures, so I'll steal her's for right now.  I need some photo organization.

new reads.

I bought this book today, and so far totally digging it.  How could you not, really. Look at that cover.  I've been reading so much about parenting in the 21st century. Modern parenting.  Relationships, marriage... etc... blogs, books, articles, whatever I can get my hands on. And I'm so reassured,  inspired, optimistic, I'm not sure what the word is.  But whatever it is, it's a good feeling to be reading and hearing the words of men when it comes to parenting, being fathers, being husbands, and being active [and willing] participants in the areas of family life that for so long have been traditionally 'female'. Totally digging that.  I'll try to post as many as I can find... for now this book and this blog are rocking my world.

hard decisions.

Today was hard.  Life decisions are hard.  I've spent the weekend struggling with one, and ultimately, have come to a conclusion.  I've decided to quit my job.  My job of five years.  My job that I love. I really do love it.  And do you know why? Do you know why I'm leaving? Well for a few reasons.  But the biggest one.  Money.  And I hate that.  I really do.  I have the opportunity to teach at a new centre, one of the more progressive and inspirational [for me anyway] centres in the city, one where I will have opportunities for professional growth, stability, and possibly creative writing endeavours in published journals and conferences. You know, the stuff I went to school for. For.. .um... seven years?? yeah.

But when I leave, I will be leaving a group of women who have touched my life. A group of women who nurture, educate, support, and encourage everyone they encounter, everyday.  The type of women who make it a joy to come to work everyday.  Who laugh, and swear, and cry and feel openly and honestly.  The type of women who are shining examples of what a mother is.  The type of mother that I hope to be someday.  The type of women who when your grandfather dies, they send you home with hugs and kisses, food and flowers and tell you not to come back until you. are. ready.

And that is the hard part about my field.  I do what I do because I love it.  Period.  I get paid very little to be an active participant in a community of caring.  And when you enter into that... it's difficult to maintain professionalism in it's natural state.  When your boss wants you to stay, or is afraid that you are going to leave, there's no money for a raise.  So instead, she bakes you cookies.  Or offers you rides home.  Or lets you leave early on a Friday afternoon.  She lets you know that you are valued and appreciated.

And today? Today. Today involved this: listening to a grandmother cry on the phone this afternoon after she found out I wouldn't be her grandsons teacher this year.  A grandmother who has taken in not one, but two grandchildren as her foster children. Who cried not only because I won't be his teacher, but because I won't be a support for her and her family.  Today I also looked into the eyes of a broken, broken man. A man in  his twenties who just found out he is HIV positive.  A man who is a patient at the methadone clinic across the street.  He came to the centre today to apologize for kicking in the window of my classroom on Thursday night.  Kicking in the window, shattering it, and making my classroom un-usable.  He told us his story. And we listened. Today I brought a plate of burnt, left over grilled cheese sandwiches to a group of hungry men outside our centre.  A group of men, and one in particular, who look out for our centre on a daily basis.  Who chase away drug dealers from our front door, who shovel our walkway when it snows.  Who say good morning to our kids everyday when they walk by.  And they got a kick out of being served child-sized grilled cheese sandwiches.  And that made my day.

So this is my job.  It's not my job description.  But it involves my every day with these families and with these children.  And I'm walking away.  And it makes me feel so heavy.  Blargh.

I know it will be okay.  I know it's time for a change for me.  I know this.  I am excited to start somewhere new.  To be inspired, to meet new families, to experience new opportunities. That's cool. But leaving sucks.

Let's leave it with this because it's so good.....

socks knocked off.

If we didn't need a reason to LOVE Etsy even more... check out their head office at Unstitched here! and also more here

high hopes.

find this beautiful book here.

Fall is my most favourite time of year....  the colours, the temperature, the food, pumpkins[!], the transition from warm sleepy summer to crisp autumn afternoons.  I love it.  I had grand plans this year to begin canning, something I’ve always wanted to do but haven’t attempted for a variety of reasons. Unfortunately,  it hasn’t happened this year either.  I had planned to start with salsa… I have the bottles, the big pot, a recipe, 2lbs of tomatoes.  However, having a cold this weekend and feeling generally like crap kept me from the long process of salsa making.  Instead… our 2lbs of tomatoes became a delicious sauce for lasagna.  There’s always next year, right? Maybe there are still things in season for canning... we'll see what I can find at the Farmers Market next weekend. And speaking of that... what do we think of the new building + location of the Halifax Market??

Here is the lasagne, and to toot my own horn, M. referred to it as the best lasagne he's ever had.  It was pretty darn good.  The only thing that could have made it better was homemade pasta sheets.  My bro' got us a pasta machine for a wedding gift and we can't WAIT to use it.... next time.

food for thought.

[image from here]

Friday was annual PARK[ing] Day, unbeknownst to me.  See more great pictures here, and read more here. Looks fun.