a new year

Dear Sofie

It's New Years Eve. Your first. As I type this I'm rocking you to sleep, holding you close in the darkness and feeling your little tiny bits of hair on my cheek. This time last year your dad and I were having dinner at Taj Mahal, celebrating what we knew would be one of our last dinners out for a while. This year, we're waiting for Thai food to be delievered. When you're a bit older we will carry on a tradition from my family, having a family fondue on New Years Eve. I'm excited for that.

This has been a big year for us as a family. We became parents, we bought our first house, and in a few months I will be starting my own business. I feel so fortunate and so grateful for everything that we have and all of the love and support that surrounds us.

For 2013 I hope for continued health for those we love, patience to see you through your ups and downs, some financial security for your dad and I and for a little less hate and sickness in the world.

And for you to wake up tomorrow (after a GREAT nights sleep!) with a full set of teeth.

Happy New Year.

Love Mama

unexpected

Dear Sofie

We are 3 sleeps away from your first Christmas. Your mama is feeling a wee bit emotional these past few weeks. There is so much to be grateful for and so much happiness. You are a true joy and your dad and I still find ourselves in disbelief sometimes that you are ours. It's difficult to comprehend that you will be one year old in a few short months. I wished for a daughter that was strong willed, independant, fearless and curious. And I have to say, that I'm quite certain I got what I wished for. On Wednesday, you decided that you were finished with breastfeeding. Right now you have no idea how hard it is for me to say those words and accept that this part of our relationship is over. Maybe someday you will. This is something that both of us are supposed to be gradually introduced to -weaning- not stopping cold turkey. Its hard. And excrutiatingly painful.
A wonderful doula reminded me of important advice yesterday that I seem to forget easily. She told me to follow your lead. Let go, and follow your lead. Whenever I remind myself to do that, it always gets easier. For the last 2 nights you've slept better than you have in months. You've napped too. I was so hoping this was a nursing strike. But I'm seeing that you've grown and changed a little bit. And you're telling me that you're finished. So, my dear sweet girl, thank you for sharing these beautiful 10 and a half months with me as we figured this out together. Breastfeeding has been one of the most amazing and beautiful things I have ever done. I had assumed that I would continue to nurse you well into toddlerhood because we were just so successful with this whole thing. I see you have other plans and I can respect that.

I love you. Merry Christmas Sofie.

Love Mama

what's new?

hi friends,


i've been a little quiet on the blogging front lately. we've had a lot going on and just today i've taken the time to sit down, hold this cranky teether while she sleeps (lovingly!), put my feet up and let out a huge exhale. things are really, really good. scary, overwhelmingly, wonderfully good.

we bought our first house! we tore it apart because it was gross! m.'s family put it back together! we moved in!

and at the same time, everything came together for me to open my own (small) child care centre!


can you believe it? i'm still in this weird, numb, zombie-like state. oh wait, that's probably from sofie going on a sleeping-strike, not from life. sleep deprivation stinks! big time!


but yeah, we have an awesome townhouse that we will slowly put together to make our own. and come the spring i will be opening a small child care centre in the north end of halifax! my own child care centre!

dreams. coming. true.

and outside of the general horror that is teething, sofie is completely awesome. she's so funny and is getting so big. she moves around like nobodies business, gets into everything, laughs hysterically when i say no (!) and won't sleep more than 4 hours at a time. not even if you paid her one million dollars. i'm keeping my fingers crossed for big changes once all these freaking teeth come through. in the next year or so.

hopefully more updates (with pictures) as things come together. for now, trying to unpack, decorate for christmas, do business things, and be an awesome mom to sofie. a date with my husband would also be super fantastic.


night.