dear Sofie

you are nine months old little one. i haven't taken your monthly pictures yet but will soon. nine months is a big one. the past week i feel like i have watched you grow up a little bit right in front of my eyes. you started to crawl!! you crawl around like a little turtle, bouncing your butt in the air and scooting forward and back. you pull yourself up on the table and couch. you move very cautiously and are so proud of yourself. it is amazing to watch. you also seem wiser and funnier. i catch you watching me sometimes with a thoughtful look on your face, your eyes focused on me and i would give anything to know what you're thinking! you think it is something else when i wear a hat, you get a very thoughtful look on your face and smile a sweet little smile. you also think it's hilarious to whip your hat off your head and your socks off your feet. i think it's pretty funny too.

it's a dark, rainy night in November and you and i had a long day together. you have a little bit of a cold, those miserable teeth are still trying to break through and the sleeping situation has only slightly improved. i can't believe how much i have struggled with getting you to sleep. i have to say, it has completley taken me by surprise, i am very good at getting children to sleep. i have lots of practice and i've always managed to get the most resistant children at daycare to fall asleep. but you? wow, you are making me work harder than i ever have. you've had two temper tantrums now. two full blown, out of control temper tantrums where i have had to put you in your crib, walk away and let you cry. it has broken my heart. i'd like for that not to happen anymore.

but today, despite the general yuckiness, you brought me such joy. watching you, rocking you, nursing you, going for a walk in the pouring rain, all of it. i feel like you are a little bit 'bigger' and you understand so much. you just filled my heart with love and joy today. i was dreading putting you to bed tonight after our episode last night. i decided that maybe if we can get you attached to a toy then it would make this whole process easier. so we've introduced 'ted' to you. your nana brought him to the hospital the night you were born and he's a pretty cute teddy bear. today you laughed when you saw him and when i tucked him in between us while i rocked you to sleep, you snuggled him, laid your head against him and fell asleep on my chest. it was one of the most beautiful moments i've had with you so far, and there have been so many...i feel like this may have been a milestone moment with you tonight.  i feel so lucky to have you in my life. i hope that your dad and i can create the same amount of joy for you that you are bringing us. you are so loved.

demo

wow. the demo guys were in yesterday. they tore shit apart and were finished by 3.30! on sunday when we were there 'cleaning' i got pretty overwhelmed and thought, oh god, what have we done? the place was so dirty, so smelly, and just so all around gross. but going in last night after the guys had left... we both felt an overwhelming sense of relief. how can it look better all torn apart? it even smells better. no more nasty brown carpet, filthy linoleum, rotting laminate and beat up baseboards. phwef!
we've ordered all of our flooring, our bathroom vanity and our kitchen (i'm very excited!!!!). the floors will start to go down this weekend. i'm not sure when we'll paint. when should we paint? how do you paint with a baby? it took me forever to clean the fridge with her there bopping around. but i know things will look so so so much better once we get those nasty walls covered up. oh man, i'm so excited. it's going to be so fantastic.

now, back to the election.....