We're going to have a little girl. In 4 months there will be a little girl here with us. Forever.
Can you believe that?? We've been walking around with stunned smiles on our faces since Saturday morning, occasionally mumbling things to each other about 'girls' and generally bumping into things because we are in this sleepy, dreamy, amazing, altered state of wrapping our minds around this information. It is fantastic.
The ultrasound was so amazing. More on that in a minute...
I woke up at 3am on Saturday and laid awake in bed until 5.30am, panicing, worrying and giving myself a headache. My mind was racing, are we doing the right thing? will we regret knowing? what if we can't see it? what if it's a huge waste of money? etc. etc. etc. Panic! And, not to completely shift blame here, but I realized this is one of the reasons that I hate sharing information with people... just general people who feel the need to ask personal questions, yet have absolutely nothing to do with my personal life. All last week, random people felt the need to ask if we were finding out the 'gender' (fyi.. it's the sex. not gender. gender is socially constructed and happens outside of the womb. sex is penis or vagina). And I'm fine having conversations with people, but I can't handle the judgement that creeps across their face when I answer and inevitably offend them in some way by our decision.
Our decision. Which has nothing to do with anyone else. And all of this junk was creeping into my head early Saturday and making me feel like I was loosing my mind. Once I finally fell back asleep and got a few more hours of sleep, I woke up and realized, eff that. Let's go.
And it was amazing. Completely wonderful. She's very small, we saw her hands, fingers, feet and toes. I'm concerned that she has the Farris head, which is quite large. Yikes. I'm quite sure she has my nose and Matthew's lips. Little chicken legs. She was moving around a lot, and my feeling was that we were disturbing her and she just wanted to get comfortable again. It was amazing to see inside, to see all the stuff around her and how squished it is in there. In case you are curious, a placenta looks like a huge flat pancake. It looked like she was using it as a pillow and her cheek resting against it. She opened her mouth, rubbed her eyes, put her fingers in her mouth. Holy crap, right?!
And to know that we are going to be parents to a little girl feels really magical and special right now. I bought my mom this book for Christmas last year and I'm so excited it will now be put to very good use.
My mom makes the most beautiful things you've ever seen and the patterns and clothes in here are oh so dreamy.
Looking forward to welcoming you to the world little girl. You are going to be very much loved.
